Bride-to-be baffled by sister-in-law’s response to dress colour scheme
From flower arrangements and playlists to organising photographers and catering, wedding planning can be a stressful time for any couple.
And, when it comes to bridesmaids, there can be plenty of complications including Maid of Honour choices causing jealousy and rifts, or one bridesmaid trying to take attention away from the bride.
One bride-to-be has been left in a tricky situation after her sister-in-law, who is a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding, has refused to adhere to the colour scheme for her bridesmaid dress.
The anonymous person, who goes by the username SeaExplorer1711, took to Reddit to share her confusion and concern as the bridesmaid has now claimed she’s ‘devastated’ about not being allowed to bend the – already flexible – rules.
She wrote: “I’m getting married soon. I have 7 bridesmaids, some close friends, cousins and my sister-in-law.
“I didn’t want them to spend a lot of money so instead of asking them to get matching dresses I chose a colour (green) and asked them to wear any dress that they like.
“It doesn’t have to be new, it doesn’t have to be a specific fabric or style, and it can be any shade of green they like. My idea was that they can wear something they already have or something they can reuse later.
“Last week I received a message from my SIL saying she needed to talk to me. We met for coffee and she told me she had a problem with wearing a green dress.
“She said she doesn’t like the colour in any shade, she never wears green clothes and she didn’t feel comfortable using a green dress for my wedding.
“I told her she doesn’t have to use something that is 100% green, it can have touches of other colours or it can be a close colour (like teal or something closer to yellow). She insisted that she didn’t feel comfortable wearing anything that was close to green and proceeded to show me pictures of other dresses she wanted to use.”
Bizarrely, the dresses her brother’s wife wanted to wear were nowhere near green, and were in shades of pink, coral and red.
The bride-to-be said she was open to similar shades of green, but believed she’d already been flexible enough giving a colour choice, but not forcing specific styles or shades.
She added: “I also told her that I wouldn’t get offended if she didn’t want to be a bridesmaid any more and we could find her a different role in the wedding (read something during the ceremony or something like that) if she preferred.”
“She completely lost it. She said I was being a Bridezilla and cared more about having nice wedding pictures than about her comfort, that it is not ok to dictate how others dress, and that everyone knows that she is a bridesmaid so she couldn’t just quit this role, etc. I said I’ll think about it and left.”
Her brother has since called her and claimed his wife is ‘devastated’ because she ‘has to chose between feeling ok with herself and being a bridesmaid’.
On top of this, her family have said: “It would be a nice way to make her stand out, but if one bridesmaid were to stand out, I would rather have my [best friend] use a special colour than my sister-in-law because my best friend and I are closer.’
The post has since gone viral, attracting hundreds of comments from fellow users of the forum.
One user wrote: “She’s devastated? Because she wants to be the only person in the bridal party wearing a different color? She doesn’t seem to understand, this is your wedding, not hers.
“Best to make this the hill to die on. If it’s not about the dress with her, it will be about something else. Nip it in the bud.”
Another said: “Being a bridesmaid is an invitation, not a requirement. When you accept the invitation, you are also accepting that you will wear a dress of the Bride’s choosing.
“If you don’t feel ‘comfortable’ wearing a certain color dress, you turn down the invitation to be in the wedding party. Simple as that.”
While a third commented: “You’re so far from being a bridezilla it’s not even funny. If she absolutely doesn’t want to wear green she can drop out of being a bridesmaid. She should quit trying to make your wedding about herself.”